Embracing Our Perfectly Imperfect Reflections
When you catch a glimpse of your reflection somewhere, what is the first thought that flashes through your mind? How does that thought about yourself make you feel? Would you smile at yourself and appreciate the reflection, or would you start with a self-hate-rant to put yourself down? Would even a forceful grin be possible as you start counting your so-called imperfections and break you down into tears, or would ignore them with a jump in your step and move on with the day?
In today’s day and age of nasty and vile competition and comparison that we forcefully put ourselves through, it is a normal reaction to start bawling at the sight of our own-selves. Most of us have been mentally and emotionally conditioned from a very age way to “hate” our imperfections,keep fixing every single aspect of ourselves, especially physically, whether its our skin color that we are born with, or a possible pimple that seemingly crops up invariably before something important.
To add to this, we are’t really looked up to appreciating ourselves, in the fear of being selfish and not being good people to others. While some crush themselves with the belief that they are not worthy enough to be appreciated, there are others who call themselves self-confessed narcissists, without realizing that they come from the same emotional space of not feeling worthy or good enough, building a bubble of fake perfection around themselves.
Over time, this belief system of not been good enough, or fearing of it and losing out is made even more concrete by those who we spend most of our time with, or around us so much that we are filled with hate and guilt at looking at the most purest form, and most authentic parts of ourselves. Societal pressure and social media haven’t really helped in this situation either, with trolls and memes all over, making people go through existential crisis almost every time they scroll. Even if those comments are not directed us, our flight and fight mechanism inherently gets activated ; either by us fearing people saying the same things to us, or revolting in a similar manner outside of that system, and we don’t even realize how subconsciously this is happen. Comparing our minds, relationships, finances, bodies, education, even our “spiritual evolution.
So, how does one overcome this? To begin with, make it a daily exercise to look at yourselves, in the most stark naked way possible reflection, at least once in a day, and touch every single part of your body, affirming how much you love it. Thank you body for supporting you all these years, with having feet to walk, hands to eat, skin to protect your internal organs, hair on your head that you possible style often, and flaunt, etc. As easy as it sounds, there is every possibility that your mind and your body both will reject this idea, consciously and sub-consciously. Proof of this? You would have probably laughed this exercise off.
This exericise being deeply cathartic on multiple levels, can bring forth many hidden facets of yourself that you probably have chosen to shun away, even from yourself. For many people, parts of their physical body that are already in pain, tend to flare up, and for those who are working on their mental and emotional health, something as simple as looking at a reflection of themselves, serves as a trigger point to spiral down in darkness even more. They seemingly confess to having more flare-ups and feeling or getting worse, because they are finally coming out to not just accept their vulnerabilities, but also embrace them – something no-one is used to, nor wants to do.
Does doing all of this imply that you may never have moments of doubts ever in your life? Of-course not! You are a human being! In those moments of self-doubts or despair, embrace your emotions first, and ask yourself if disconnecting your awareness and consciousness from yourself or your body, which is a temple that protects your soul, empowered you or dis empowered you? If it hasn’t empowered you, are you willing to change it? If you are willing to change it, are you willing to do what it takes to change your belief system?
Doubts and fears don’t necessarily disappear magically when we are trying to change our lives or making decisions to do so, and maybe they aren’t supposed to either. We will spread ourselves thin if we follow every advice/opinion from everyone, including the internet. Truth is, no one can be 100% sure if that business deal will change your financial future, if that health-care professional will possibly help you change your life and body for the better, or if that guy/girl is truly the person you are meant to spend the rest of your life with. Things on the outside will not necessarily be conducive and sometimes feel like the complete opposite. What does one do then? Continue, commit and persist to act in spite of it all.
It is all too often that we see our own behavioral reflection in other people, especially those that we hold closest to our heart. Practice beholding everyone as an equal human being, perfect in their imperfections, in all ways. Observe nature in all its glory, and notice how everything works and falls in place together, the way it is meant- with ease and joy
Make a conscious effort to practice seeing the good in every event- even those labelled as bad or difficult. It may seem like a daunting task at first, but choosing to hold on to that anger and hurt is like holding on to hot pieces of charcoal, expecting the other person or the situation to burn. Every event offers you an opportunity to be more loving and accepting. It may not be immediately possible, and that’s fine. It doesn’t always have to be that way. You have the ability to embrace, love, accept, and forgive at a certain pace, and that will flow in its own time, naturally.As you begin to see yourself and all else as just the way it is, without the need to control according to your own whims and fancies, your ability to love yourself and others, in a deeply compassionate way will greatly expand.
When thoughts arise that make you feel you are imperfect or less than, release these untruths by first embracing what you feel instead of fighting them, and then move on to healthy ways of replacing them with the knowledge that you, in all essence, are perfect. This may be difficult in the beginning, yet the joy when freed from these self-imposed bonds will be well worth the effort. Do not condemn yourself, for they had a purpose at the time you created them. Don’t keep putting yourself down for those thoughts, cursing them and yourself for existing. Flow and ride on these emotional and mental waves instead of fighting against the tide. That will get you no-where. Bless all the memories you had with love and let them go.
The point of doing all of these small exercises is to help you overcome the need to resent yourself. By not acknowledging whatever you see and feel, inside and outside of you- even if you think its only pain and suffering, you are actually choosing to turn a blind eye to your growth and well-being. Continue doing this till you no longer hold any guilt or remorse towards your imperfections, embracing them as the best parts of yourself instead.
You will find some experiences easier to release than others. As you uncover each undesirable belief, you will also have related behaviors to change. This may seem to be a daunting path, but each release brings freedom. This freedom brings more joy and releases more energy for you to tackle other debilitating beliefs. Once you have mastered these beliefs, you will exponentially create joy each moment of your life. Is this not a goal worth striving for?